mother-online

10 reasons moms shouldn’t be on social media

KEEP YOUR BABY OUT OF OUR FEED

Remember how your mother used to run ads about your bad case of colic? No, that’s right, because back then moms didn’t broadcast every burp. Congratulations! You had a kid, but the following types of posts about motherhood and your offspring are annoying the childless population.

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Photo credit: Hero Images / Hero Images / Getty Images

Baby goggles

Not dissimilar to the days before your egg shacked up with a sperm and you had a few too many Long Island Iced Teas, your vision is compromised. Beauty is in the eye of the birth holder. To the other several billion who don’t share DNA with your little earthling, it just looks like a baby. Sure, your baby is cute, but we don’t need to see every facial expression, every new food they try or excessive images of how cute they look when they are sleeping.

Repeat offenders

Having a joint Instagram account will save you tons of time in the long run — adding different filters to an almost identical photo serves little social media purpose. Divide and conquer: Dad gets the messy food shots, while Mom snaps bath time. Come up with a co-gramming strategy to keep your followers intrigued. Above all, refrain from commenting on your partner’s image when, for the most part, they are probably next to you on the couch. Turn to them and compliment each other on your child-making ability. Perhaps exchange a fist bump (optional).

Don’t speak

Have you ever posted commentary as if it was coming from your baby? Stop. It’s inconsiderate, it’s inaccurate, and it’s simply untrue. When the tyke is older, if he or she so desires, they may wish friends and family a happy birthday, anniversary, etc. Until then, don’t put words in their mouth.

Shirtless selfies

We all put our best foot forward on social media. We like to present a perfect version of ourselves and our lives on the internet. Instagram made that even easier with its flattering filters. Your child will undoubtedly have some embarrassing nude photo one day, but should you be posting their first one? And while we’re at it, belly and bra self-portraits? Is that the example we want to set for our daughters? If you wouldn’t post that picture when you aren’t pregnant, then you shouldn’t post it when you are.

TMI (toilet mis-information)

Generally what happens between the canals of those ceramic thrones are dirty little secrets kept between cheeks and seat. Adult persons tend not to announce the successful placement of their bowel movements in the bowl, and neither should little people. Keep the potty talk to a minimum.

Thou shalt not complain

If it’s “life’s greatest miracle,” then mind your tongue (or typing). Quit whining about their sniffles or earaches. Maybe they cried for hours and didn’t sleep through the night, but in the grander scheme of things, you have a healthy baby. Life’s greatest misfortune, on the other hand, is when a child is truly ill, and as a parent there is nothing you can do, like little Anya, who has spent half her life fighting leukemia. Or, consider your friends who would give anything to have a baby even if it meant no sleep. Think twice before you tweet your #momproblems.

Cake-tastrophe

Assuming others are as excited as you are for the revelation of your unborn baby’s gender is quite presumptuous (and uploading four albums about it to Facebook, even more so). As if baby showers weren’t thrilling enough, gender-revealing parties are extravagantly sexist shindigs decorated with stereotypical colours. Any reason to have a party is a good reason, but that said, a dry party is at the bottom of the festivity food chain. Couldn’t you pour a blue martini or pink cocktail from an opaque shaker instead of cutting into cake?

Edit those eyebrows

While every slight facial expression excites you, to us infecund folk, your child looks more or less the same until it’s a preteen. If you really want to wow viewers, then try thinking outside the box a bit. We’d suggest drawing hilariously disproportionate and cartoon-like eyebrows. Unlike the basic baby photo, this is quite comical.

Privacy police

As a social media coordinator, what I’m allowed to view via some profiles is alarming. Private things used to be kept private. Parents would call their friend or that neighbour down the street to complain about the hardships of child-rearing and wouldn’t leave a giant digital footprint of every diaper rash online. Check your settings so strangers can’t creep your children! This writer is thankful that phase of creating Facebook accounts for their neonate is now over.

Momzilla

They’re the centre of your universe, but they’re clogging up our digital one. You used to post about other things, other interests, hobbies, pastimes, etc. We miss those posts. You’re not just a mother; you’re a friend, a sister, an artist, a culinary wizard, a blogger, a jogger, a photographer, a team player… The list goes on. While we’re at it, stop referring to yourself as “Mommy.” Unless your infant is browsing your feed, no one else calls you that.

More Facebook faux pas

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Is technology damaging our friendships?
10 Things we’ve learned from Facebook

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The Originals Ep. 22 Recap: From a Cradle to a Grave

Klaus and Elijah argue

Shit got real last week, like Jay Z-Solange elevator real. A violent attack took place, Francesca hijacked the moon rings, (’cause, whoops! She’s a werewolf), and Hayley was wolf-napped.

The finale began with Klaus busting in on Hayley and the witches, but they managed to pin him to the wall. Hayley gives birth, the witches cut the cord, and Hayley asks to hold her daughter. Surprisingly, they let her and even more surprising, they then slit her throat, leave her for dead, and take the baby while Klaus could do nothing but watch.

Stephen-Colbert-Popcorn

Cami wants to help Marcel and Davina save all the vamps who were bitten by wolves last week, so she shows them Father Kieran’s secret room. There, Davina finds the Devil’s star (one throw is equivalent to a 1000 cuts). Needless to say, she pocketed dat shit.

Eljiah walks into the church and sees Klaus holding a dead Hayley. Devastated, they went looking for baby Mikaelson. For the first time in (literally) forever, Elijah loses his composure and cries because of Hayley. If it weren’t so sad, it would be kind of hot. Then, all of a sudden, Hayley wakes up from the dead and walks out of the church where Klaus left her. She then super casually meets up with Elijah and Klaus.

Elijah touches Hayley's face

In case you’re wondering, Hayley died with the baby’s blood in her system, so she’s currently in transition to becoming a werewolf-vampire hybrid. (Seems like her and Klaus have more in common after all.) Hayley, Elijah and Klaus find the witches and stop the sacrifice. Hayley kicked Genevieve’s ginger ass, Klaus killed one of Genevieve’s minions as Monique tries to continue on with the baby sacrifice. She was stopped after Marcel threw the Devil’s star at her and snatched baby Mikaelson.

Seagulls from Finding Nemo

After all that work, Marcel was too late; he couldn’t save his vampire friends with the baby’s blood, but Klaus was still grateful he saved his daughter, so he offers Marcel his blood to heal himself (which is ironic ‘cause Klaus is the one who bit him last week). They kind of bro’d out and we’re really glad because it’s about time these besties put their differences aside.

By the way, Davina finally resurrected Papa Mikaelson. While Klaus held his daughter, Papa Mikaelson looked at them with the white oak stake in tow (you know Original kryponite). Davina isn’t as dumb as she looks though; the spell she cast upon Papa Mikaelson had a special clause, where she’ll let him to seek revenge on Klaus on her terms. Until then, it’s trapped in the attic until next season.

Elijah and Hayley play good cop-bad cop with Genevieve (except they’re both bad cops) as they try to get the answers to why she needed to sacrifice baby Mikaelson. It’s all Esther’s wishes, according to Genevieve. Esther, you may remember, is Mama Mikaelson. As long as the child lives, the witches will never stop trying to kill her, she declares. Hayley has had enough and stabs Genevieve. Here we thought grandparents were supposed to spoil you, not sacrifice you.

Johnny Knoxville from Bad Grandpa

Later, Hayley gets to hold her precious baby girl while Klaus and Elijah chitchat about the danger she’s in. Elijah suggests they all pack up and leave but Klaus argues that the witches would hunt them down if they do. Hayley pipes in and says the only thing to do is send the baby away and clean up the mess they’ve made. Elijah interrupts her and is firm in his belief that the witches would hunt the baby down anyways. Like a light bulb turning on, Klaus proposes an idea: what if no one knew the baby was alive…

hayley-and-hope-mikaelson

Oliver goes to see Marcel. Marcel says he knew that the Guerreras (Francesca’s wolfy clan) want the Quarter to be a vamp-free zone. Marcel said he’d unleash hell unless they let the vamps live across the river. Oliver asks why he thought Klaus would side with vamps over the wolves, and Marcel says because the wolves “killed” his daughter (which of course was part of Klaus’ plan to save baby girl Mikaelson). Sneaky, sneaky!

If Klaus, Elijah and Hayley all left together it would look mighty suspicious to the witches, so Klaus gives baby Mikaelson to Aunt Rebekah (who drove into town for the occasion—goodness, we’ve missed her). Klaus advisea her to seek a trustworthy witch to do a cloaking spell so no one can find mini-Mikaelson (who we learn is named Hope).

The season comes to an end at the cemetery, where a newly resurrected pair claim they had much to do. The male says “Yes, mother” as the camera panned down to reveal Esther Mikaelson’s tombstone. Cliffhanger much?

Bette Midler in Hocus Pocus

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9 Mothers from Hollywood hell

THANK HEAVEN THESE MOMS ARE FICTIONAL

In honour of Mother’s Day, we salute on screen mothers who make us thankful they only exist on film.

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Photo credit: WENN.com
1

Stepmother from Cinderella

Not familiar with this hateful hag named Lady Tremaine? That’s because she’s usually referred to as Cinderella’s stepmother. A true monster, she pits her daughters against Cindy, and makes her work like a slave. Cate Blanchett will breathe new (albeit frightful) life into Lady T as an all-new Cinderella hits theatres next year.

2

Margaret White in Carrie

This crazy mama first embodied by Sissy Spacek has terrorized audiences for decades. The nut job took the form of Julianne Moore in the reboot of Carrie last year. The insanely religious control freak locked her daughter in a closet and made her believe menstruation was the devil’s doing. (We’d have to agree though that sometimes those monthly cramps are quite demonic!)

3

Aunt Petunia from Harry Potter

Speaking of being locked in little rooms, Aunt Petunia, Harry’s dead mum’s sibling, is absolutely atrocious. The poor boy is an orphan and she does nothing to soothe him or shed any sympathy. We’d cast an unforgivable curse or two her way—Crucio!

4

Mrs. George in Mean Girls

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Photo credit: WENN.com

The self proclaimed “cool mom” is nippy at the very least. Despite the title, Mrs. George isn’t mean, but her overzealousness is so not fetch. Offering up alcohol & condoms to her underage daughter doesn’t exactly qualify her for Mom of the Year. To her credit, she’s embarrassingly present at all events, snapping pictures at Halloween, prom, etc.

5

Maleficent

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Photo credit: WENN.com

She will portray the mistress of all evil on the big screen later this month, but in real life Angelina Jolie is a downright saint when it comes to her kin. Audiences will soon see Jolie transform into the wicked fairy godmother that curses Aurora. She’s depicted as a witch in Sleeping Beauty, but there’s apparently more to Maleficent’s story. Will fortune favour the bold, we wonder?

6

Judy Walker in Bridesmaids

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Photo credit: WENN.com

She’s the tamest of this mom posse, but still Judy Walker isn’t the most reliable of mothers. Comparing her daughter’s life to a gay prostitute who hit rock bottom is hardly a morale booster. She doesn’t exude ‘confide in me’ qualities with her matter of fact demeanor. Judy is not the most conventional cook either, unless a tuna fish sandwich at eight in the morning with syrup on it appeals to you.

7

Mrs. Bates from Psycho

Talk about mommy issues! Norman Bates was a real mama’s boy, not in the cute takes their mom on a date and buys her flowers kind of way. The boy dressed up like his dead mama! We obviously don’t condone killing, but Mrs. Bates kind of got what was coming to her. (Sorry for the spoiler to anyone watching A&E’s Bates Motel!)

8

Mary Jones in Precious

The most menacing of all mothers takes shape in Mary Jones. 16-year-old Precious can do nothing right by her mother. She’s a victim of incest resulting in two children and it only infuriates Mary more. Short of being supportive during this tender time in a girl’s life, Mary also physically, verbally and sexually abuses her daughter (let’s not forget: purposefully dropping her grandchild,too). Emancipation, anyone?

9

Joan Crawford AKA Mommie Dearest

Unfortunately, this film is based on a biographical book, which means there is truth to what is seen on screen. The 1981 film adaptation of Christina Crawford’s memoir is utterly terrifying. The traumatic tale of her life and adoption by a Hollywood starlet is scarier than any horror film listed above.

Who have we missed? Comment below with an on-screen mama for consideration in our Hell-ywood Hall of Fame.

More mom day fun

8 Movies to watch with your mom this Mother’s Day
Say “Happy Mother’s Day” with these yummy breakfasts
8 Mother’s Day gag gifts

 

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The Originals Ep. 21 Recap: The Battle of New Orleans

Elijah kicks butt

The main thing to take away from last episode was Elijah and Hayley’s epic smoochfest. Oh, and Papa Mikaelson may return to the land of the living.

Jackson and Oliver drove around looking for moon stones, but were interrupted by Marcel who got rid of the rocks. He and Diego roughed them up a bit. After Marcel left, Klaus and Elijah showed up. Klaus and Elijah got Jackson out before yet another explosion. Klaus said the stones would be hard to replace, but he had a backup plan — Francesca who happily obliged and supplied some more stones.

Francesca, Elijah, Klaus & Hayley discuss

Marcel gathered the vamps to strike against Klaus. Marcel and Klaus fought in the ensuing battle and both sides suffered many casualties (but the battle was not as brutal as the Bruins’ loss against the Habs last night). Marcel ended up setting the record straight by revealing that he didn’t set off the bayou bomb. He also mentioned that Klaus should ask Francesca about it.

We then jump to Cami who found Father Kiernan’s secret room which he filled with files, old photographs, artifacts, and a box conveniently labelled “For Cami.” It was through all these old things that she discovered Franny’s family is of wolfish decent. Understandably, she FTFO. Cami tried to warn Hayley but she was busy babysitting Genevieve who finished the spell for the moon stone rings. Franny grabbed the stones (which were originally meant for Klaus and co.) and said she’ll be taking them back her town.

Beyonce in her Girls video

Apparently, Oliver had some sort of pact with Franny but it isn’t revealed what they’ve agreed to. Franny also proclaims that the city would once again belong to the wolves, and that there is no revolution without sacrifice. Franny’s wolfy family starts biting everyone, including Klaus who couldn’t heal. And with a turn of a cloak, Genevieve betrays Klaus and links his blood to the moon stones. Now whenever someone uses the moon stone to keep themselves from turning into a wolf during a full moon, they’ll be drawing strength from Klaus and hurting him. Genevieve asked if Klaus ever cared about her at all, and he responded with “I suppose you’ll never know.”

Emma Stone in Easy A

Now to the older folk. Papa Mikaelson in ghost-form is still creepin’ on Davina. He sees Davina trying to save Josh who was bit by Klaus. Mikael then reveals himself and tells her that he’s the only man in history that Klaus is afraid of. She agreed to bring him back from the dead.

RuPaul's Drag Race

Hayley was held hostage by the witches. We can’t be certain over all the yelling, but she might be going into labour. The witches told her the child is to be sacrificed. FYI, Elijah and Hayley kissed again–here’s hoping they get to second base next week amid Hayley’s contractions.

Seth Rogen in Knocked Up

 

Don’t miss The Originals season finale next Tuesday at 8PM only on CHCH.

Disclosure note: Channel Zero, the parent company of ANDPOP, also owns CHCH.

 

As seen on:

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http://www.andpop.com/2014/05/07/originals-ep-21-recap-battle-new-orleans/

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10 Things we miss about Friends

IT’S BEEN A DECADE SINCE CENTRAL PERK

May 6 marks the 10-year anniversary that the celebrated comedy ended. We’re looking back at 10 reasons it was (and still is) so great.

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Photo credit: WENN.com
1

“He’s her lobster”

Have audiences rooted for a couple more profoundly than for Ross and Rachel? (That’s a challenge, dear readers. Comment below to nominate a better onscreen couple). Even when they were “on a break,” their on-again, off-again relationship kept viewers enticed for 10 years. If Ross and Rachel could work it out, then maybe — just maybe — we had a shot at our real-life romances.

2

“The Rachel”

Countless females everywhere flocked to salons and requested to look like Rachel Green. Season after season, Jennifer Aniston (or her hairstylist/pal Chris McMillan, rather) had us suffering a major bout of hair envy. Short, long, straight, wavy, light, dark — it didn’t matter. She rocked every look, and to this day she is regarded as a fashion and beauty icon (she’s now co-owner of Living Proof, a hair care product company). A decade later, we’re that much closer to achieving “The Rachel.”

3

“How you doin’?”

An eternal bachelor and ladies’ man, Joey knew how to woo a woman. He wasn’t much in the brains department, but boy, did he make up for it with brawn. On top of good looks, Mr. Tribbiani had a good heart. He would do anything for his friends, like propose if one was pregnant or give Mr. Treeger, the superintendent, a piece of his mind after he’d upset Rachel.

4

“The Routine”

As far as sibling bonds go, Ross and Monica take the cake — or the Geller Cup. Whether they were having tea parties, dance-offs or touch football tournaments, we miss their brother-sister banter and heart-to-hearts.

5

“Smelly Cat”

Phoebe’s singing was a staple of the show and a highlight of many episodes. Her upbeat tunes would get stuck in your head if you could wrap your head around those quirky lyrics. Friends was alive and well before the YouTube era, but there are quite a number of “Smelly Cat” covers paying homage to the most memorable from her repertoire.

6

“No more J-man and Channy!”

Joey and Chandler’s bromance was one for the ages. These two were the brothers neither of them had (unless you slept with a Tribbiani sister or fell for Cathy). Nevertheless, they had each other’s backs, and hilarity ensued, like when they lost baby Ben whilst picking up chicks (the female variety, not the actual chick they later adopted along with a duck).

7

“More turkey, Meester Chandler?”

Everyone appreciates holiday-themed shows, but Thanksgiving with these six over the years is what we are most thankful for. Monica’s elaborate meals were best paired with baby beauty pageants, flashbacks to the ’80s or reminiscing over Chandler’s discovery of his cross-dressing father’s love affair.

8

“Oh my Gawd!”

Janice Litman-Garelnick (nee Hosenstein) epitomized kitsch. Her nasal voice, nauseating laugh and leopard pants were a sight for sore ears. The show’s writers tactfully wove Janice in and out of the 10-year saga. Her entrances were always met with applause, as audiences loved her surprise appearances. Honourable mentions go to Estelle and Frank Jr. for also providing many laughs throughout the years.

9

Central Perk

That orange couch, the ever-changing artwork on the walls and, above all, Gunther, made Central Perk the place to be. If you’ve dreamed of stepping through those doors, you can visit the quaint café at the Warner Bros. studios in Los Angeles.

10

“‘Cause you’re there for me too”

The introductory chords of The Rembrandts’ “I’ll Be There for You” are instantly recognizable to multiple generations. The fast-paced song about friendship and loyalty is a classic (in our humble opinion). The lyrics are forever synonymous with the group of six characters who regularly convened at a coffee shop to talk about their lives, loves and laughs. Just know that when it hasn’t been your day, your week, your month or even your year, Friends will be there for you (on DVD).

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